George W. Bush’s Last Presidential Turkey Day Act?

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Posted by K.C. Morgan Categories: Photos, Features

With appropriate pomp and circumstance, still-the-President George W. Bush let two happy birds off the dinner table hook just in time for Thursday’s feast.

“Pumpkin and Pecan are hereby granted a full and unconditional president pardon,” Bush announced Wednesday, much to the relief of the two plump birds. “In recent weeks, I’ve talked about sprinting to the finish,” W. smiled at the cameras. “Yet, I’ve assured these turkeys they will not be trotting to their finish.”

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The two birds will fly to Disneyland (by jet - let’s think about the strangeness of that for a moment), where Pumpkin will serve as the honorary marshal in a Thanksgiving Day Parade.

“Together, these birds will gobble the rest of their days in ‘The Happiest Place on Earth,’” Disneyland’s nickname, “I just hope they stay humble there,” Bush added with his trademark grin.

PETA, an organization which seems literally impossible to please, isn’t happy with this decision from the Prez. “You might be a lame duck, but you still have the power to help lame turkeys, who are made that way by the cruelty of the meat industry,” Ingrid Newkirk, president of the organization, wrote to Bush, asking that the birds be delivered to an animal sanctuary instead.

The current First Family will spend the holiday at Camp David. Meanwhile, the Obamas are also celebrating the season. In recent comments to the press, the President-elect said they “are going to have a whole bunch of people over to the house.”

Barack Obama also offered some words of encouragement to the American people. “As they think about this Thanksgiving shopping weekend, and as they think about the Christmas season that is coming up, I hope that everybody understands that…that we are going to be able to get through these difficult times, but we’re just going to have to make some good choices.”